A Memorial Day Tribute to Our Fallen Veterans
Happy Memorial Day!
Is what we say to each other on the last Monday of May each year in the United States.
Most businesses are closed for the occasion, and federal services are on a 24 hour hold in observation. For the average citizen, it’s a fun 3-day weekend. There might be a trip to the lake or the ocean involved. After all, we’ve got the day off, and the weather is gorgeous.
But, it’s important to remember the roots of this day and whom we’re commemorating when we wish each other a happy Memorial Day.
Where does Memorial Day come from?
Memorial Day, or the concept of a memorial day, dates back as far as the Civil War. While only 4 years long, the Civil War managed to claim the lives of more than 620,000 soldiers – a staggering figure, and still, this figure does not account for other non-soldier deaths related to military engagement. It was casualty on a scale we had never seen before as a country.
In the years following the Civil War, people struggled to come to terms with the loss of their loved ones and neighbors. As is customary in cultures across the world, memorials began to appear.
Wartime, Women & Lasting Tradition
Wartime and tragic events are notorious for seeing women take action and forge change, as is evidenced by the creation of Mother’s and Father’s Day in the 1900s. Memorial Day shares a similar lineage.
Dating back to 1864, the year before the end of the Civil War, a group of women from Pennsylvania began adorning the graves of fallen soldiers with flowers and flags to honor them. This tradition eventually became known and recognized as “Decoration Day” in 1868, where nearly 5,000 people turned out at Arlington National Cemetery to pay tribute to the soldiers at rest.
The tragic events of World War 1 expanded the popularity of Decoration Day, which eventually became nationally recognized as what we now call Memorial Day in 1971.
A Different Tone
As with many American holidays, consumer culture and capitalism have distorted the true meaning of this otherwise somber holiday. While many of us celebrate with parades, barbecues, and deals on beer (or anything else you could possibly purchase), it’s important to remember the real reason we’re celebrating.
Alex Horton, a veteran of the Iraq War, wrote a piece for VA News: Memorial Day Reflections.
“I hope civilians find more solace in Memorial Day than I do. Many seem to forget why it exists in the first place, and spend the time looking for good sales or drinking beer on the back porch. It’s a long weekend, not a period of personal reflection.”
Death, grief, and loss are difficult to swallow. Especially in western culture, death isn’t something we embrace or discuss in polite society. We offer sincere yet superficial platitudes to each other in times of loss with the same scripted “you have my condolences,” or “I’m so sorry for your loss.” We distance ourselves from the pain and discomfort of mortality, let alone the atrocities that walk hand in hand with wartime casualties.
As any veteran will tell you, the horrors of war are exactly that: horrors.
Honor & Remembrance
“Memorial Day is meant to remind folks of the sacrifice borne by those who fell in battle in defense of this country, as well as their families…
At the same time, many [people] incorrectly thank Vets or active duty folks for their service. While appreciated, it’s misdirected. That’s what Veteran’s Day is for.
Instead, they should take some time and remember the spirit of the country and the dedication of those men and women who chose to pick up arms. They never came home to be thanked, and only their memory remains,” writes Horton.
3:00pm, local time, is nationally recognized as the official moment of silence for those who have lost their lives in service of their country.
So… No More Parades?
No, that’s not quite the takeaway here.
It’s important to honor and thank our veterans and our active duty folks for their sacrifices and their service. Keep the parades, enjoy the day off. But, don’t forget your moment of silence.
For those who have seen combat and lost comrades, every day is a kind of memorial day. We’ll quote Alex Horton one last time here, because he put it perfectly:
“Once you lose someone in combat, Memorial Day bleeds across the rest of the calendar.”
Ways to Celebrate and Commemorate the Fallen
Oftentimes, the best way to “properly” celebrate a holiday is to go back to its roots, to the way it was celebrated upon its advent. If you’re looking to celebrate in a thoughtful manner, here’s what we suggest:
- Visit a cemetery, and read the names on the headstones out loud. Many service members will have a marking or writing in the stone that acknowledges their service. Saying their name out loud keeps their memory alive.
- Leave flags or flowers on the graves of fallen soldiers; bring a small, handheld broom with you to sweep off the stones out of respect
- If you pray, offer a prayer in gratitude and love
- Take a moment to journal or quietly reflect on the depth of sacrifice made for the preservation of American values
- Do you know someone who’s lost family members to combat? Reach out, and offer to celebrate with them. This may look like bringing a meal over, or visiting their loved one’s resting place together. Hold them in both their grief and their memory.
- If you feel so moved, consider making a donation to a local cemetery or funeral home to support the memorial service of a family who may be struggling. One of the best ways to honor the deceased is to carry on their memory. Hence, Memorial Day.
Enjoy your festivities, your backyard barbeques, and your time in the sun – and don’t stop saying thank you to veterans for their service. But while you celebrate, remember to pause and share a moment of silence for those who are no longer here to share it with you.
After all, we share in the land of the free because of the brave.
Happy Memorial Day!
